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This is the "Scripting" phenomenon. We have a mental checklist of how a partner should behave to validate our self-image. If we see ourselves as the "fixer," we seek a broken partner to save. If we see ourselves as the "martyr," we seek a distant partner to pine over. When the partner deviates from the script—when the "broken" person heals, or the "distant" person becomes clingy—we lose interest. We are not disappointed in the person; we are disappointed that the plot has gone off-rails.